FridayFeature: Which Office Character Are You?
By · CommentsWelcome once again to MonarMusing’s FridayFeature, where the workweek ends with a silent bang (or so we’d like to think). Take a few minutes and find out what Office character you are by clicking this link:
Which Character from The Office Are You?
Rejoice. Discuss. Lament. Retake. And enjoy your Labor Day weekend!
Universal truth number 298: moving sucks. I don’t mean that in the existential, “people hate change and being forced to get rid of things they’ve hoarded” kind of way. I mean it in the “no one wants to sweat for two days in a row hauling boxes back and forth and having muscles that you were unaware existed screaming at you” kind of way. Being that we’ve just passed the first of the month, I have an inkling that more than a few of you can commiserate.
I just moved into my new residence yesterday, and anyone who’s assailed their ears in the last few weeks to listen to my plight will know that some higher being REALLY just didn’t want me to leave. From having to spend 40 minutes dismantling my Ikea bed so that it could fit through the hallway (and severely compromising the sturdiness of the thing in the process) to finding the elevator broken the morning of, move out was less than ideal. The first UHaul place called me the day before to tell me I couldn’t have my truck for as long as I needed it because apparently the word “confirmation” means “processing request.” And I had to do most of the moving myself, meaning everything took about three hours longer than it should have. My legs and arms are now covered with enough bruises from trying to hold doors open with my hands full to raise suspicion of trampling. It was the Murphy’s Law of move-outs.
The parts that were easiest? The brief parts for which I DID have assistance. Maggie and Jess were philanthropic enough to spend an hour sweating in my 8th floor, un-AC’d apartment using a pair of needle nose pliers to pull the screws out of my headboard. I was homeless for a night, and my dear friend Terri let me crash at her place while also lending me her fridge for my perishables. And moving in to my new place only took an hour because my dad came to help me unload. After I had complained to him about the nightmare that was moving out, he said to me, “But you have to do it by yourself first, because it’s only then do you realize how valuable it is to have help.”
…I hate it when my dad’s right.
People prize independence. Being able to “go it alone” and ride out on your own competencies is seen as an accomplishment. But having a few extra hands can go a long way, and the first place to start is in building and cultivating relationships. The people who willingly helped me schlep boxes and furniture back and forth using the world’s slowest moving elevator were my coworkers, with whom I’ve become close with over the course of this summer. Your relationships are your most valuable resource, and they shouldn’t be discarded just because their value cannot be quantitatively measured.
The question is: how do we begin to establish and foster relationships? If people are such an important asset, how is it that we get them on our side?
Part of the reason people are reluctant to meet new people is because they don’t know where to start. Don’t make it more complicated than it has to be. If you’re at work, make small talk in the elevator. Say hi to the people you pass as you’re walking down the hall. Invite people on coffee runs, lunch breaks, or just try and catch them on the way out of a meeting. People like to talk about themselves, so it can be as simple as asking, “How is your day going?” You don’t have to be a professional pick-up artist. You’re not asking them on a date. (If I’m wrong and you are, check with HR on your interoffice relationship policy.)
Relationships are like karma. There will always be an equal balance of give and take, and try and keep that in mind when starting to build your social network. You’re not networking for your own personal benefit, although the help they can provide you is a pleasant side effect. You want to enter into a mutual agreement to help and be helped, and you should help without the promise of gain. Starting to build relationships without the urgency of need ensures that you’ll have a cadre of compadres when it is you may need them. Mike always uses the metaphor of fire prevention–you don’t begin teaching people the escape routes during the actual fire. Make friends first. It’ll pay you back later, and you will pay them back in kind.
We learned a lot when we were young, and making friends was an important lesson. Having people to support and assist you can go a long way, and the reverse is also true. Helping others can be just as rewarding as receiving help yourself. Just say hi. Maybe someday you’ll be helping each other move.
In the meantime, I have to go find a nice steak place to take out my movers. Once bed deconstruction was involved, I had to upgrade them from Burger King.
To our readers: what is so valuable about your relationships?
Building Workplace Relationships
By · CommentsWe have recently been researching a lot into the importance of building workplace relationships. More specifically, we have been looking into what it takes for left-brained technical employees to work through the right-brained task of relationship-building and networking. How do you convince task-based professionals that relationship tasks are just as important to the success of a project?
My question to our readers is, “How would you rate yourself on your ability to build relationships?” Do you find it important to build relationships with your co-workers? Do you find it uncomfortable? Speak up!
Dilbert!
By · Comments
Today’s English lesson: “oxymoron.” The term refers to a figure of speech wherein contradictory terms appear in conjunction. Take, for example, “jumbo shrimp.” “Light black.” “Amtrak schedule.” Perhaps the most familiar example of an oxymoron is “rush hour traffic;” there is nothing rushed about sitting in a line of cars. The next time you’re stuck in one, however, quit complaining. It could be much worse. You could be in China.
If you think your 3-hour stint on the Eisenhower is bad, the Chinese are dealing with one lasting ten days and counting. People who normally take a mere three days to drive from Bejing to Inner Mongolia are cited as saying it will now take “a week or more.” Villagers are taking advantage of the plight to sell overpriced snacks to people playing cards in their trucks, a venture my friend and I considered undertaking once we realized how cheaply we could buy Hostess pies in bulk. What’s the cause of the hold up? They’re building new roads because of the traffic problems. Let that sink in for a minute. The traffic is being caused by a means of decongestion. Irony–the anecdotal version of oxymoron.
You wonder: did no one think that this would be a poor idea? Was there not a better way of getting things done? Is this traffic problem the root of “Chinese fire drills”? It’s one thing to think “short term consequences for long term benefits.” Even construction on I-94 doesn’t cause traffic that lasts for days. Someone must’ve had the foresight to anticipate this counterintuitive side effect. Perhaps this is just a consequence of not thinking things through. Sometimes there’s a better solution to a problem than the first one you see.
The question is: how do we learn to arrive at better solutions? What can force us to take the time to think through our problems? In short, how do we free our minds from taking the first off-ramp from the National Highway 110?
When arriving upon a workable solution, the natural tendency is to assume that it is the end of the process. After all, you set out with a problem, and the goal is to solve it. But the first answer is not always the best answer. One thing to do is to come up with a second, equally workable solution after you’ve landed on your first. The latter solution may mitigate some consequences of the former that you may not have been aware of. It’s also just a good exercise in thinking laterally. Open up your mind to the possibility that there is more than one right answer; thinking about a problem in terms of multiple opportunities rather than a “point A to point B” approach helps you generally become more innovative.
Take the time to play devil’s advocate. Are there any important consequences that your solution might not be covering? Are there any unintended problems that may ARISE from your solution? Talking it over with others helps to illuminate gaps or possibilities that you may not have previously considered. It helps to get out of your own head. You may believe what you’ve arrived upon is best, but someone else might be able to reframe the problem to create a more effective solution. And talking it over with someone who is uninvolved in the actual decision may bring you a completely new perspective. Think of it as a Rorschach test–each inkblot is a different image for each individual who views it. The same is true of the problem at hand. What looks like a new road for you may look like a traffic jam to someone else.
The solution is not the end. Think of other solutions that are just as workable, or bounce ideas off of others to earn new perspectives. Not only does this help with the problem at hand, but you’ll have opened up to new ways of thought. An ineffective solution to one problem may be a perfect fit for another.
On second thought, this traffic jam may be the answer to my post-collegiate debt. How many boxes of perishable food items can I take on an international flight?
To our readers: what helps you think things through?
Dilbert!
By · CommentsToday we have another Presentation Skills training facilitation. Let’s hope it goes better than Dilbert’s…
Consultant as Parent? Relinqishing Ownership of Success
By · CommentsIn IM lingo, it reads, POS: parent over shoulder. If it were a crossword puzzle clue, it would read “end to ‘helicopter’ and ‘velcro’.” Enter a new age of high parental involvement, the age of the hovering, overconcerned progenitor whose sons and daughters are hard pressed to find unbridled freedom. In mild cases, parents remain on call if a crisis situation arises; in more dire situations, parents will fight their kids’ battles for them in both school and work. Speculation abound as to why this is–a chance to live vicariously through their children, or the desire to engage in “peer-enting” instead of parenting (see Phil Dunfee, “Modern Family”)–but whatever the reason, parents are getting überinvolved. It’s gotten to a point that colleges even create parting rituals during orientation to explicitly tell parents when they’ve overstayed their welcome.
In parents’ defense, most of it springs from a genuine concern for their children. Now that they’re given the opportunity to make sure that Billy or Susie is okay 24-7 via cell phones and Skype, it seems foolish not to do so. It’s a much different era from the one when you couldn’t be reached as soon as you left the house. And often it’s nice to have guidance from someone who does know better, if not best. Ultimately, though, it results in a loss of ownership of successes and failures on the part of their children. It’s one thing to take someone’s hand. It’s another to yank their arm out of the socket while dragging them around.
Consultants are like parents. It’s our job to give our clients guidance, and we’re assumed to know best. But there is again a fine line between making suggestions and making demands. If your word becomes bond, you become the only trusted authority for decision making, and you can effectively cripple your clients. Additionally, if your advice goes sour, you become the scapegoat. Part of consulting is putting a framework in place to aid your clients without them continually tracing their results back to you. Think of it like the Inception of business. Yes. You are the Leonardo DiCaprio of the corporation. Instill the idea, but let them take ownership.
The question is: how can you feel comfortable letting go of your clients? What steps can you take to be sure that your clients will make good decisions in the future without your guidance? How can you prevent your inclination toward hovering?
One means of doing so is by providing your clients with frameworks and formulas. If you attempt to fix every problem they encounter, they’ll see the solution to any future problems as “ask someone else what we should do.” Frameworks act as tools for them to use when they need to make decisions themselves. The principle is captured in the adage, “give a man a fish, and you’ll feed him for a day; teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime.” You can hand them the answers, but it’s much more effective to allow them to come up with them on their own. Although it seems counterintuitive, it’s your job to make them a higher functioning team, not a higher dependency one.
When they get to a good solution, stress their success. Show them specifically how it was that THEY achieved their goals. Push them toward valuing their own agency in the decision making process. Once they realize they have the power to make change and be successful, your role might naturally phase itself out. And what might help is to change your mindset as well. Your success should be viewed as facilitating the success process, not directing it. Just as a parent teaches their child to remove their training wheels, you should encourage your clients to see that they can be successful without help.
It’s hard to let go of a client. Without constant follow-up, you’ll never know if your guidance was received correctly. At the risk of becoming a helicopter consultant, though, you have to know when to let go, and attempt to give them tools to be successful when you’re not around. Your clients are kind of like your kids–you want to see them grow, and you want to share in their successes. But you have to know when to let them go it alone.
There is some good that arises from increased parental involvement. But child leashes…that’s just a whole new level of unfair.
To our readers: what do you do to put ownership of success in the hands of your clients?
We here at Monar believe wholeheartedly in self-development. We have all taken several assessments so that we can know our own strengths and weaknesses and we have also instituted a daily reading hour. Currently we are reading A Whole New Mind by Daniel Pink and next up will be Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi.
Question: What, if anything, does your organization do to help its employees with self-development?